I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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