this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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