Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
