I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just want to make out with him forever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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