I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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