Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
