I bet he comes in French.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
