You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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