Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
