he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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