I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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