Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
