he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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