so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
