U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
