just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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