he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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