The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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