You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.