i used baking grease as lip gloss
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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