I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.