You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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