we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
