I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
