I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
