I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can I color on your dick again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
