Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
