mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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