FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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