the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is my gift to your gina
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize