but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
