Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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