i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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