We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
