i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
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I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.