Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.