when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
