So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
