This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
