so explain again why im purple
no
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
