dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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