Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
3pm strippers are depressing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
