Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You left your underwear on the fireplace
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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