This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Randomize
