I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
