he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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