i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
