dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
