VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
