he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
