I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
