My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
