would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
