Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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