That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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