He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
