New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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