you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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