I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so explain again why im purple
no
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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