Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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