We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
