just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
