We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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