Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
