billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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