well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
