is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
