Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
